Turtle Bluff

Ever since I was around seven years old, I traveled with my father to the Kiamichi Mountains of southeastern Oklahoma to camp, hunt, fish, shoot, and learn rudimentary survival skills.  We typically made two or three trips per year, a tradition that we’ve continued to this day.

Memorial Day is one weekend that is always reserved for the camping trip.

Some of my fondest memories are episodes from these trips.  Over the next several days , I’ll be sharing some anecdotes (with a minimum of hyperbole, I promise) of the trips that will provide some insight into the way I think and act.  These experiences have a profound impact on the way that I write, so don’t be surprised if you walk away thinking that I’ve caught “a little bit of the crazy.”

The trips are generally filled with laughter, high spirits, pranks, lots of shooting, and impromptu gourmet cooking by several of us who will eat only the best in camp cuisine.  We have evolved from a “primitive” camp site to one that boasts a semi-comfortable toilet (you have to dig your own hole, sorry), a battery-operated shower, and fully stocked reloading bench.

During my hiatus on May 25-28, Kate will be updating the site with her usually tasteful mix of commentary and wit, so be nice to her while I’m gone.

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8 Responses to Turtle Bluff

  1. blitzfike says:

    HooWaaaaa!!! TBSA Rides Again!!!

  2. Durmiun/Jason says:

    I refuse to be nice to Kate. It’s un-hygienic.

  3. Kate says:

    Can I come?

    Please? I can cook and hike, and shoot guns. I will blow stuff up with the rest of you!!!! I have a few barbies we can blow to bits! It’s cathartic, trust me. I won’t bring anything fruity smelling as to attract bees or sea bears** while proudly wearing my anti-sea rhinocerous underwear.

    **All of the things that set off a Sea Bear :
    Playing your clarinet badly

    Waving your flashlight really fast. Flashlights are their main prey.

    Stomping. They’ll take it as a challenge.

    Eat cheese (cubed; sliced is fine)

    Wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion (Like upside-down on your head)

    Wearing clown shoes

    Wearing a hoop skirt

    AND NEVER EVER screech like a chimpanzee

    run somewhere

    limp somewhere,they hate that more than running

    crawl somewhere

    instead of drawing an anti-sea bear circle, trying to draw one, and drawing a pathetic anti-sea bear oval.

    NOTE: The way to prevent a sea bear attack is to draw a circle around you.

    OTHER NOTE: The sound of a sea bear attack will attract a sea rhinocerous. Prevention from those is wearing anti-sea rhinocerous undergarments.

  4. Pete says:

    The last post proves my point about why you’re absolutely NOT allowed to come.

  5. Kate says:

    I was giving some advice. Jeesh. Fine. Get attacked by a sea bear for all I care.

    I’d still like to be there to take pictures.

    I promise I won’t complain at all and if I do, you can duct tape me to a tree.

  6. StAtiC says:

    Pete you recall what happened to the last attacker on the TB campsite…The one the had an “IED” He was also duct taped to a tree

  7. blitzfike says:

    Tree Hell!!! That was my favorite chair.. When we were there last month, there were bits of it and something else hanging from all the surrounding trees.. I found pieces of the metal frame scattered for 50 yards around the campsite.. Blitz

  8. doug says:

    I cant wait!

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