Call it post-modernist positive destructivism, but I want a hero who takes no prisoners, who doesn’t hesitate to kill the bad guys, and who isn’t interested in turning criminals over to the cops for a lengthy trip through the judicial system at the taxpayer’s expense. I suppose in our modern, ultra-violent society, in which the media has made every attempt to desensitize us with images of violence and perversion, it is inevitable that those of us who cling to some notion of things absolutely right and wrong would find mercy and reliance on our failing system to be somewhat distasteful. With this in mind, I’ve created a little list of characteristics for my ideal hero.
Think Han Solo, John McClane, or Malcolm Reynolds. Leave Batman and cop shows at the door!
- Shoot to kill. Always.
- Shoot twice. Shoot center of mass to knock them down, then walk over to them and (without gloating) shoot them in the head. Even the most expensive ammo is cheaper than your life.
- The feeling of glee that you get staring down the tritium sights of your pistol into the rapidly glazing and terror filled eyes of your adversary will only make you have nightmares later. Do the job quickly and professionally and get out. If you take pleasure in the job, you’re a psycho. Turn yourself in now.
- If a perpetrator runs from you, shoot him anyway. It’s better than 80/20 odds he’ll accost someone else, and at least this way, you don’t lay awake at night wondering if the guy you let go is assaulting a co-ed.
- There is no such thing as a fair fight. Biting, clawing, scratching, and going for the crotch are all acceptable as long as you win. (Bonus points for throwing sand or gravel in your adversary’s face.)
- If you can’t win, make your conflict so expensive in terms of physical pain or discomfort that your opponent disengages. When he does, shoot him.
- If someone comes after you with a knife, sword, mace, or bat, honor does not demand that you meet him with an equal weapon. Shoot him and be done with it.
- Poison is a perfectly acceptable weapon. It’s not just for women!
- If you find that you must meet for pistols at dawn, then get up in the middle of the night and kill your opponent in his sleep.
- Booby traps are a great way to level the playing field. The nastier they are, the better.
Nice. I have to wonder though where the line is drawn. I completely agree with your list on all levels, but how do you know when not to shoot.
Example1: A guy breaks into a home and rapes a woman, he deserves to be killed.
Example2: Kids making out, girl says no, guy continues kissing etc. Father walks in and shoots him?
Example3: Guy has bike stolen. Knows where thief stores it. He steals it back and is caught by the thief’s neighbor, does the neighbor shoot first?
Okay:
Ex1: Right on
EX2: Judgement call. Reasonable belief of rape, yes (see ex1…) otherwise, wing ‘em…
Ex3: Don’t steal the bike back. This leads to anger, anger leads to hate… and bullets. Instead, consider doing approximately equal financial damage to the thiefs belongings (sort of a modern ‘eye for an eye’, but with $ instead of eyeballs…)
Leave it to Damian to frame a position with reasonable doubt.
1. Definitely.
2. Uh…is this a fetish-style role-play? I think you have to read the situation to figure this one out. Don’t barge in shooting, but if the girl is terrified enough when you question her AND you trust her integrity completely, blow him away. Otherwise, wait for the cops and let them sort it out.
3. Neighbor, by law, doesn’t have the right to shoot if the dude isn’t on his property, so this is a definite no. Although I can’t imagine that someone WOULDN’T stop if they saw any one of us step out of our garage with our various carbines, rifles, or pistols slung about our bodies.
And by learning and successfully employing steps 1-10, you may survive boot-camp and enjoy your tour of service in the USMC.
Example 1A: Shoot him dead; find evangelical Christian to raise rapist from the dead; shoot him dead again.
Example 1B: If you are against killing, shoot him in the knees, and then use the butt-stock (or pistol grip) to shatter his teeth. Thus unable to run or bite, once convicted and released into general pop. he’ll learn empathy for rape victims in the state pen. We’ll call it “rehabilitation.” Optional treatment: use third bullet to turn rooster into hen.
Example 2: Show him the loaded weapon, instruct him to never return, and allow him to flee. If he returns, shoot him.
Example 3: This is a comedy of errors waiting to happen… reminds me of Faulty Towers. Let the cops handle this from the get-go. But if you must venture forth, I agree with what Pete said… but if the neighbor hesitates, shoot him. Dead men tell no tales.