Yeah, about that.
I just updated the site and blasted all of the posts of the past. Some of them weren’t relevant to the here and now (my stance on some things has changed in the face of new info/arguments). While it was entertaining to go back through and read how my thinking on things has changed over the years, I’m left with the idea that I wanted a fresh start.
In a lot of ways, 2017 is a year of rebirth for me. I’m coming to terms with who and what I am as a person–authentically and without artifice. I’ve spent years pretending to be something I’m not. I’ve worn masks, I’ve lied to myself and others. I’d like to say it stops now, and that I’m drawing a line in the sand. The reality is that this is a process that takes time and effort and discipline. The line in the sand is definitely there, but my goal is for continued, measurable progress and not perfection. I refuse to hold myself to unrealistic standards, but I also refuse to tolerate any excuses from myself.
What that means for me is that I’m looking ahead to the future and working on my personal issues of anxiety, depression, and perfectionism. I’m trying to shake off the bindings of the past–not because I want to forget how they’ve helped me grow and develop. I want to put aside the bad habits and poor decisions of old and make life-affirming choices for the people I love and for myself.
You might see me write about these from time to time here. If so, please know that there are other people who struggle with the same issues you do. You are not alone, even though you probably feel like it.
So…here’s to new beginnings.