Peter Hodges

A writer's entropy of thought…

Browsing Posts in Random Ramblings

The Muse

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I’m not normally one to write poetry, but sometimes I’ll feel the lyrical bug bite me. This particular poem I’ve titled “The Muse,” and it provides a description of the relationship I have with the most elusive of inspirations. Sure, it’s doggerel, but I can’t deny the emotions of frustration, wonder, awe, and catharsis that rattle me when I’m in the Muse’s grasp.

The Muse
A poem by Peter Hodges
Elusive, fateful, tenuous
The fog of doubt mars the horizon.
Try as I might to grasp
The mists slip through my fingers
As pearls in the deeps.
Greed for the perfect moment
Hastens the demise of prose.
Like the wheel in the mill
I turn in the river’s current
Riding the fury and biding the calm
Relentlessly searching for clarity.
Now brown, now red, but always blue
A moment’s focus becomes a demand
As myriad venues unfold.
Into a tapestry of possibility.
That branch, this branch, the choices!
I sink in front of the plastic monolith
My art and passion bubbling magma
Fury barely contained
By the speed of expression.
Catharsis like orgasm seeks release
And is satisfied in the end.
She is fog, she is treasure,
Luminescent and complicated.
She is both grinding wheel and water
With words as her fuel.
She is Persephone and Gabriel,
Guides to good and evil.
She is arctic and she is sultry,
Binding my creative sinew.
She reveals and she eclipses
Foiling the would-be god
Who wants to build sandcastles.

More Fatherhood

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As you may have noticed, I’ve welcome a new addition to my family, a baby girl named Abigail Grace.

Her character is different than my son Jackson already. She’s less fussy, a little more laid back, but certainly into her food. Although perfectly formed, she does not share her mommy’s eyes or her maternal great-grandmother’s eyelashes like Jackson. Instead, she remarkably resembles a female cousin on my dad’s side of the family. She was born with hair…quite a bit for an infant, considering Jackson was bald until he was nearly one.

One thing, however, remains constant. I love the little booger more than I thought possible.

When Jackson was born, I didn’t know what was coming. I had no idea what would be involved with late night feedings, dirty diapers, sacrifices of time, and sheer exhaustion. I had confidence that I could work through it (and I did), but I didn’t expect to be so completely smitten. I knew what was coming this time, but I was afraid that I would unconsciously short-change Abigail in the love department. I know this sounds irrational if you’re an experienced parent, but consider the depth of love you have for your children, and then imagining that multiplying. I couldn’t fathom that until it happened.

Things have settled down into a little bit of a routine around here, so I should be back to regular posting. In the meantime, I’ll continue to enjoy the blessing of a new child while trying to still the inner voice that rails against the lost time. After all, is it really lost?

Shawn Powers

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Friend, Linux Journal Editor, and occasional commenter Shawn Powers lost his home in what appears to be a freak electrical fire. If you’re a denizen of his site as well as mine, or if you feel like giving a little bit to help him out, you can donate here.

I met Shawn at Penguicon in Michigan a couple of years ago. He was a really neat guy–grounded, hilarious, and earnest. My thoughts and prayers go with him.

My daughter, Abigail Grace, was born on Tuesday, January 12, at 12:17 PM. She weighed seven pounds, three ounces, and was nineteen and three-quarter inches long. We’re all finally home from the hospital today, so thus begins our expanded family!

Gallup is reporting that conservatives finish 2009 as the most popularly self-identified ideology in the United States. Based on the graph and the commentary, June of 2009 was the turning point in which voters who had previously classified themselves as independent increasingly identified themselves as conservative.

What this means, exactly, is hard to say. Of course, I’d like to immediately jump up and pound my chest and say: “See? Everyone was sold a bill of goods by Obama, and they’re finally waking up.” Instead, I think you’re seeing a large segment of the population who had given the administration the benefit of the doubt actively change their ideological identification. Is it because the ideas themselves are suspect? (I think they are, but not everyone agrees.) I would wager that most independent-minded Americans (hard to find here in Texas) have come to grips with the economic realities behind the grandiose campaign promises. Health care reform may not cost all the voters who put Obama in office money, but it will certainly cost the people who could keep him there enough that they’ll be gun shy about sending him back for a second term.

Couple this with the general dissatisfaction that America has with Congress, and you have a recipe for a mid-term change-over. It’ll be interesting to see if the Democrats lose just their anti-filibuster in the Senate, or if they lose their true majority.

The only thing that hurts the burgeoning movement on the right is the lack of a clear focus. No one has stepped forward to articulate conservatism in such a way that they’re rallying anyone outside of the rank-and-file Republicans (and if anyone mentions Sarah Palin, I’m going to mail you a spring and a boxing glove so you can build a mechanism to repeatedly punch yourself in the nuts).

At any rate, I’m glad I’m not the only one living through the nightmare of an impending socialist dystopia.

Computer Upgrade

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Computer upgrades normally go smoothly for me, but this one was a little problematic. I elected to not upgrade the whole system, instead choosing the fastest gaming chip I could for my Intel X48 chipset (a Wolfdale Core2Duo), the fastest video card (a Radeon 5870), and more memory.

After fiddling with parts, I’ve determined one of two things–either I need to flash the BIOS on my mobo for the new chip to work, or the new chip is DOA. Win7 is crazy fast after Vista. I should’ve done that a few months back.

Anyone out there flashed anything lately? :)

Chia Obama

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I have nothing to say after watching this. This is a real product, no joke. It’s no secret that I don’t like this president, nor do I agree with many of his policies. However, I was simply stunned at this product. I can imagine little that is more tasteless than giving a bust of our president a green afro.

TF2 pwnage

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Even after laying out of the Team Fortress 2 community for the better part of a year, we still got it. Check out the scores from Kate, friend PoorYorick (David) and myself (Captain Spank).

(Click to embiggen)

TF2pwnage

The interview can be found here.

This is a long-time gaming buddy of mine who is also trying to flex his creative muscles.